I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
