me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
