it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
PANTIES FOUND
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