he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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