I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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