why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
