Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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