At least make sure they are 18
Why
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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