pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
