we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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