So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
