Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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