then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize