Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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