nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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