Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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