he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
