I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is wine microwaveable?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
