I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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