Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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