I'm gonna have a badass scar
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
