Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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