We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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