No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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