Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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