i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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