Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize