I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
