Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Help me help you realize you are a moron
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
