Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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