she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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