I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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