there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I love you. Go after that dick
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
