My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
this hospital has no fireball
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
