my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
