I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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