Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
