he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
True college students do jello shots in the library
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
