At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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