What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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