She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
