It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
please come you make the beer taste better
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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