I think my vagina is haunted
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
