return my video game
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
