Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
