what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
