so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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