Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
