i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I checked into jail on foursquare
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
