I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
