Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
