This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
