great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
