Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
