she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
