Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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