you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
