a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
