New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I love having hate sex.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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