i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
