she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
