i just wanna soil my oats bro
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
