she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
